Having now found yourself facing the prospect of divorce, you are possibly thinking – what do I do now? Who can I tell? What will people think?etc. The next shock you may have to face is all those friends who you thought you could count on have suddenly disappeared into the woodwork. You may find you can count on only one or two; even family members may be evasive.
You are not on your own. There are around 120,000 to 150,000 divorces every year in England. Multiply that by two and you see that you are surrounded by countless numbers of people who are or have been in the same position as you – and they have survived.
This site is designed to guide you to sources of help and advice for all stages of your journey which you might see as a long and very dark tunnel ahead of you. See -
WE HAVE PROBLEMS ; WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS ; IS IT TIME TO DIVORCE ; ADVICE ; COUNSELLING; THERAPY.
Fear of the unknown is the biggest problem for most people to handle and we will show you what you are most likely to be facing. I should point out that what we see on TV and films of dramatic court scenes is pure fiction. The courts are well experienced and understand the repercussions of the divorce scenario. They do everything to make the process as painless as possible. You will not be able to throw a tantrum in court with an emotional string of accusations; in fact you may never go to court or see them again.
However, if the court finds you are not cooperating or not being honest, be careful; the court can have a nasty sting in its tail and the judge will not take kindly to such activities.
If you and your spouse feel your marriage has come to the end of its sell by date or you have just been told out of the blue that your wife / husband wants a divorce, you will no doubt feel stressed out, upset, desperate, depressed.
No matter what the circumstances that led to the marriage breakdown, curb any feelings of revenge you may have towards your spouse as it is you and any children you have that will suffer as a result.
A divorcing party’s initial thought is often to lash out and drag up all the dirt and decide to fight it all the way. Or they just throw in the towel and accept the inevitable. Yet at the end of the process something like 97% of all cases are settled out of court.
So first things first: if you feel excessively emotionally and physically drained don’t feel ashamed at consulting your doctor -they have seen it all before . Then arrange to have some counselling either together or on your own – see COUNSELING
If physical abuse or sexual abuse of you or children is an issue you should inform a solicitor straight away.
Citizens Advice Centers are notoriously popular and it may take time to arrange an appointment. Solicitors will usually give an initial assessment free or for a nominal charge. You should be able to find one that can fit you in reasonably quickly. Which one to use is the $64,000 question - personal recommendation is recognised as the best bet. The fact that you choose one solicitor, does not mean you can not change at a later date should you wish.
Remember that your divorce and its particular issues are unique to you and may not resemble any other you know. The outcome may therefore bear no resemblance to what you have heard or thought.
You may also be worried about the costs involved. But you may be eligible to some or all of the cost through the Legal Aid system .
Always ask your solicitor to give you an assessment for legal aid. Some will give you a fixed price but remember, the cost of the divorce itself can be quite small in relation to the negotiations over children and finance / property.
Therefore, the more you understand and the more prepared you are for the costs involved, the less time will be spent by the solicitor and, therefore, this will mean less cost to you. Read on and see FORMS which you can obtain free from the courts or down load from here.
You may find you need accommodation, whether or not you have some money.
Income may be an issue.
The other big worry for both parties is where children are involved. They will be the court’s first main concern. They will do their utmost to reduce the effects of the divorce on any children involved. If the court is not satisfied with the proposals for the children they could delay the decree absolute.
“Parenting Plans” is a free guide to help both parties and where possible the children themselves to reach an agreement on:-